Tuesday, January 18, 2011



This particular comic is one of the titles that Raj Comics publishes for their younger readers. So it's guaranteed to not have any objectionable content. Really, I promise.

1."I still don't understand why I have to carry you on my back the whole way. I just hope it isn't too much farther to your friend's house."
2."Don't worry, pal. When we get there you'll get a big reward." "Really!!"
3."I hope it's worth my while." "Oh, it will be, buddy."
4."My pal Shrek is really generous." (SFX: *giggles*)
5."Something stinks around here. I know it isn't me because I took a bath last week."
1."Well that explains the foul odor out here. I wonder where it came from?" "I think we know where it came from."
2."But it's so huge. I don't think I've ever seen one so big." "Well, there are lots of big things out here in the woods. Ogres, Dragons, Oprahs, and things like that."
3."Just look at it...what does the thing eat?" "Not corn, that's for sure."
4."It's still disgusting. And it's making me sick to my stomach." "But everybody poops." "But they don't have to do it right where I'm walking barefoot!"
5."They probably weren't thinking of you at the time." "It's still nasty, and it's still steaming!" "Let's take it with us." "You've lost your mind. We don't need it." "You never know when it might come in handy. Trust me." "That's what you said about carrying you through the woods."
6."Don't worry. I got a good feeling about this."
7.Also in the woods, some other people are strolling "Is this how we keep on trucking?" "Pretty much ... stick your legs out a little further."
1."I haven't seen one of those in a while... I wonder what it is." "It might just be side effect from those wild mushrooms we ate. Or we really went off the beaten path this time."
2. Yet another subplot? "Evil me to be's so hard...I get better looking every day..."
3."Yo, dude, I'm right here." "You don't look like the Evil One." "Who do I look like, one of the Flintstones?"
4."Now that you mentioned it." "Nevermind. What do you need?"
1."I get lonely out here and I was hoping that I could make some new friends." "You seem like a pretty cool evil dude. Maybe you should try hanging out with the goth kids." "I did... I can't stand all that depressing music they listen to."
2."Hey, dude, maybe you can try going to a GWAR concert. I can totally score you tickets." "That might be alright. But I don't think they're touring right now."
3."Think of something else."
4."Dudeman, just go out and be yourself. You'll be alright."
5.With sword in hand, he went into the town- "I'll be sure to make some friends with this cool sword."
1."Hey, that guy doesn't look friendly!!" "Yeah, let's kill him before we find out what he wants."
1."I guess you Mario Brothers ran out of 1-UPs."
2.Several hours later- "This didn't work out exactly like the blue guy said. But I sure had fun today."
3."It's been so long since I visited the city. Could there be fun in the next town? Or maybe the city?"
1.Meanwhile, in one of the other subplots going on in this comic- "The Pride Parade is tomorrow. Get out of our way with that purple dress, you loser." "I'm not here for the parade. I'm here to chew bubble gum and hit people with this mace. And I'm out of gum." "Take a good look at these swords. Idiot."
1."Ha. You guys aren't so tough when you have concussions."
2."OUCH...HEY...What did yo do that for?"
3.Just at that very moment- "Hey...I didn't know you could fly."
5."You came to save me." "Why else would we be here?" "Time to go....Why don't I ever spend more time planning?" "HE'S GETTING AWAY!"
1.But our heroes have the item from earlier-
2."Is he asleep?" "Yeah, you know most people pass out after getting ____-faced."
1."And it's a happy ending for everybody. Especially you, big boy." (SFX: *smooch*)

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