Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Man Who Hated Water

Some heroes spend their time battling monsters and saving the entire universe.
Johnny Quick ain't one of them.
This here story is about as typical as it gets for our hero. As he roams around looking for slice-of-life news stories, he manages (fairly by coincidence) to stumble upon some criminal scheme. And that's it. Just about every story I've found follows this same pattern.

from ADVENTURE COMICS #140, May 1949

That's the usual set-up; he finds something interesting to take pictures of, and then...

OH NO! A RIP IN THE UMBRELLA! This looks like a job for Superman, er, Johnny Quick.

That's the formula right there. By sheer chance, he's uncovered a strange plot.

Johnny Quick: Fastest Seamstress In The West!

Darkseid..Luthor..The Joker.. A water hose is no match for Johnny Quick!

"Who's that queer old man?" I'm a'gonna leave that one alone...

I call Johnny for my team when we play charades, y'all.

And there you have it. The guys who fell off of the roof probably have fractured ribs, and the guys who got hit with chunks of ice probably have concussions; but it was all worth it, right?


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