Okay, nowhere in this story does it say that this is Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes as the narrators, but I'll be danged if the artist here didn't use them as figure models for this issue. And I swear the writer intentionally wrote their dialogue with the same two characters in mind.
So, WHAT IF JAY AND SILENT BOB WORKED OUT A NEW ORIGIN FOR THE SPIDER-MAN??? I think it would look sumthin' like this here:
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